In the same interview Jack went on to state that a Fine Gael government would be "a recipe for disaster" presumably for the "working people" or "members" he represents.
For no worker in this country who is not "represented" (or whipped up into a periodic paranoid frenzy) by the omnipotent Jack can lay claim to the title "working person".
The "working people" are Jack's people. Or Jack's peeps as they might say in certain circles.
No Jack, thank YOU.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Ah Jack, We've Been Expecting You
Today on the radio just before he told his members to vote for Labour Jack O'Connor announced that he would not dream of telling his members who to vote for. Good man Jack.
I wonder would he dream of telling his members in the primary school up the road here how to make up the additional three weeks holidays they got there before Christmas when it turned a bit Wintry. Strangely Jack was nowhere to be found in December.
Good man Jack, off the radar for a while there but always worth waiting for.
I wonder would he dream of telling his members in the primary school up the road here how to make up the additional three weeks holidays they got there before Christmas when it turned a bit Wintry. Strangely Jack was nowhere to be found in December.
Good man Jack, off the radar for a while there but always worth waiting for.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The Conventional Wisdom or Phrases You Must Utter On a Regular Basis In Ireland 2011 To Be Considered a Serious Minded Individual
The banks are not lending, it’s as simple as that.
It’s worse than the eighties because everywhere is fecked; I mean where do you go?
The unemployment figures are only going down because of emigration.
We need to halve the number of TDs and double their salary to attract quality people.
I couldn’t live in Canada though; sure it never gets above freezing over there.
We need to eradicate this parish pump political system. I mean it shouldn’t be a TD’s responsibility to fix someone’s heating. That’s what local government is for.
But you can’t lay off any of the public service because it will decimate aggregate consumer demand. We need people with paycheques to spend in the real economy, no matter what it costs us.
I mean people just aren’t spending. There’s no confidence out there. Aggregate consumer demand is on the floor.
I know of a fella that went to Australia and had to come back after a month, he could find nothing.
I heard of a lad making twenty five grand a week driving a dumper in a mine in Perth.
One in two Australians get skin cancer, did you know that?
Vancouver is consistently voted into the top ten of best places in the world to live.
But you can’t lay off any of the public service without affecting the level of front line services.
I’m not talking about nurses, guards or firemen. I’m talking about the layers of clipes in public buildings all over the country who don’t even know what the feck it is they’re meant to be doing.
Whatever you do don’t bury your head in the sand, stay in touch with your lender.
Sure we lost the run of ourselves. It’s only natural; sure we’d never been through an economic cycle before like in America or England. I mean they’re old hands at this boom and bust carry on.
We learned a few harsh lessons though. We did surely.
Chalk it up to experience, we’ve a great little country and if we all pull together we’ll get through this.
We’ve pulled through dark days before, this won’t be any different.
It’s time to stop playing the blame game, to leave the doom and gloom behind us and look forward.
I mean someone will have to knock a few heads together over in Frankfurt and negotiate a better deal for us on that bailout.
Otherwise you needn’t bother ordering any bunting for your Easter Rising Centenary lads ‘cause there’ll be nothing only fuckin’ tumbleweeds on O’Connell Street that day.
And don't even think of trying to find God again. That horse has bolted.
Something tells me we're gonna start taking the Eurovision seriously again.
It’s worse than the eighties because everywhere is fecked; I mean where do you go?
The unemployment figures are only going down because of emigration.
We need to halve the number of TDs and double their salary to attract quality people.
I couldn’t live in Canada though; sure it never gets above freezing over there.
We need to eradicate this parish pump political system. I mean it shouldn’t be a TD’s responsibility to fix someone’s heating. That’s what local government is for.
But you can’t lay off any of the public service because it will decimate aggregate consumer demand. We need people with paycheques to spend in the real economy, no matter what it costs us.
I mean people just aren’t spending. There’s no confidence out there. Aggregate consumer demand is on the floor.
I know of a fella that went to Australia and had to come back after a month, he could find nothing.
I heard of a lad making twenty five grand a week driving a dumper in a mine in Perth.
One in two Australians get skin cancer, did you know that?
Vancouver is consistently voted into the top ten of best places in the world to live.
But you can’t lay off any of the public service without affecting the level of front line services.
I’m not talking about nurses, guards or firemen. I’m talking about the layers of clipes in public buildings all over the country who don’t even know what the feck it is they’re meant to be doing.
Whatever you do don’t bury your head in the sand, stay in touch with your lender.
Sure we lost the run of ourselves. It’s only natural; sure we’d never been through an economic cycle before like in America or England. I mean they’re old hands at this boom and bust carry on.
We learned a few harsh lessons though. We did surely.
Chalk it up to experience, we’ve a great little country and if we all pull together we’ll get through this.
We’ve pulled through dark days before, this won’t be any different.
It’s time to stop playing the blame game, to leave the doom and gloom behind us and look forward.
I mean someone will have to knock a few heads together over in Frankfurt and negotiate a better deal for us on that bailout.
Otherwise you needn’t bother ordering any bunting for your Easter Rising Centenary lads ‘cause there’ll be nothing only fuckin’ tumbleweeds on O’Connell Street that day.
And don't even think of trying to find God again. That horse has bolted.
Something tells me we're gonna start taking the Eurovision seriously again.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Oh We Of Little Faith
I see our friends in Fianna Fail have unleashed the latest strand of their manifesto the central pillar of which is a pledge to create fifteen thousand jobs in tourism alone over the next five years.
The document goes on to detail other significant undertakings of which I feel it appropriate to make you aware;
1. The translocation via nanotechnolgy of Connaught, the six counties and Louth to the surface of Venus by 2012.
2. Putting a Ghost Estate on the Moon by 2020.
3. Paving of the Castelbar by-pass using magma piped directly from the Earth's core by 2013.
4. Devising a magnet capable of disrupting the Lunar cycle to create gnarly surf off the West coast thereby consolidating Ireland's position as the global leader in renewable wave energy.
5. The creation of a hundred thousand public service jobs translating the internet into Irish.
And there was I thinking that all this talk of a smart economy was pie in the sky. Sorry lads.
The document goes on to detail other significant undertakings of which I feel it appropriate to make you aware;
1. The translocation via nanotechnolgy of Connaught, the six counties and Louth to the surface of Venus by 2012.
2. Putting a Ghost Estate on the Moon by 2020.
3. Paving of the Castelbar by-pass using magma piped directly from the Earth's core by 2013.
4. Devising a magnet capable of disrupting the Lunar cycle to create gnarly surf off the West coast thereby consolidating Ireland's position as the global leader in renewable wave energy.
5. The creation of a hundred thousand public service jobs translating the internet into Irish.
And there was I thinking that all this talk of a smart economy was pie in the sky. Sorry lads.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Make Your Own Luck
“If you’re lucky enough to still have a job". If you are in the habit of listening to talk radio how many times, today alone, have you heard that phrase? From personal finance gurus, economists, priests, union officials, politicians, taxi drivers, journalists and assorted miscellaneous hacks and “commentators”.
Being lucky would by my estimation imply that you are somehow bucking a trend, fortuitously avoiding a fate being meted out to a downtrodden majority. But then a quick glance at the unemployment statistics triggers a bit of head scratching. The current rate of unemployment is 13%.
So if you want to be accurate in your deployment and application of the concept of luck as a phenomenon which is reserved for the chosen few who defy the odds, contravene all probability, trends, logic, pattern, reason or statistical analysis but rather have cajoled the magic to alight randomly on their blessed shoulders should that introductory catchphrase not read “If you’re lucky enough to be unemployed”.
I’m just saying.
Being lucky would by my estimation imply that you are somehow bucking a trend, fortuitously avoiding a fate being meted out to a downtrodden majority. But then a quick glance at the unemployment statistics triggers a bit of head scratching. The current rate of unemployment is 13%.
So if you want to be accurate in your deployment and application of the concept of luck as a phenomenon which is reserved for the chosen few who defy the odds, contravene all probability, trends, logic, pattern, reason or statistical analysis but rather have cajoled the magic to alight randomly on their blessed shoulders should that introductory catchphrase not read “If you’re lucky enough to be unemployed”.
I’m just saying.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Look Into Your Heart
And then it dawned on me. Just like that. The secret to successful television in 2010. The common thread, the magic formula, the grand design, the recurring theme? Grovelling. Yep, grovelling.
I, like a lot of folk have been scratching my head fairly vigorously for a number of years now. Then came the Eureka moment. In the toilet, appropriately enough.
“I’m a grafter Bill, I’ll sweat blood for ya Bill, if you hire me Bill you won’t regret it, I’ll go the extra mile for ya Bill, I’m a warrior Bill, this is my dream Bill, I’ll rub your knob for ya Bill. Please Bill, please don’t fire me.”
“Please Cheryl this is my dream, I’ve worked so hard for this, without it I’ve nothing, I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll work even harder, this is all I’ve ever wanted, please don’t kill my dream, I’ll rub your knob for ya Cheryl. Please Cheryl, please don’t send me home.”
So they stay and we all look forward to the same encounter again next week.
And the stupid bastard who has more self respect than to prostrate himself before The International Court of Human Shites goes home. Loser.
I, like a lot of folk have been scratching my head fairly vigorously for a number of years now. Then came the Eureka moment. In the toilet, appropriately enough.
“I’m a grafter Bill, I’ll sweat blood for ya Bill, if you hire me Bill you won’t regret it, I’ll go the extra mile for ya Bill, I’m a warrior Bill, this is my dream Bill, I’ll rub your knob for ya Bill. Please Bill, please don’t fire me.”
“Please Cheryl this is my dream, I’ve worked so hard for this, without it I’ve nothing, I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll work even harder, this is all I’ve ever wanted, please don’t kill my dream, I’ll rub your knob for ya Cheryl. Please Cheryl, please don’t send me home.”
So they stay and we all look forward to the same encounter again next week.
And the stupid bastard who has more self respect than to prostrate himself before The International Court of Human Shites goes home. Loser.
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