I'll Take you Home Again Gunther

My eldest brought home the school photos recently and inside the package was a form outlining the procedure for selecting the type and quantity of prints, the cost involved and instructions for collection. The form was signed off “Thank You, The Photographer”. Where does he think he is, in a Krzysztof Kieslowski movie? His wife is The Bookkeeper and his best friend is a performance artist called The Pheasant. He lies awake every night wistfully recalling the day he was smuggled to the American side with a dozen other dissidents strapped to the chassis of an armored personnel carrier. Life in the rural midlands has been nothing but a constant source of disappointment to him since. These parents, the same dull, predictable pose they want to order every year. Nobody ever wants their kids dressed in a Stasi uniform holding replica AK47s against the backdrop of a crumbling East Berlin. Fucking Irish, cultural derelicts. Top spuds mind.