Hanafin de Histoire

Mary Hanafin is the new Minister for Arts, Culture and Tourism. We are being encouraged by some quarters to welcome this, quarters which cite the determination with which she halved social welfare payments for young people a year ago as being perfect credentials and a glowing testament to the “can do” attitude she will bring to her new post. When mired in economic imperatives traits such as immoral callousness are seemingly the only ones that count. The lack of any actual credentials which a right minded person might consider essential for a role as Minister for Arts, Culture and Tourism has thus far not been raised as a concern.

I would like to conduct a test on Mary Hanafin to ascertain her suitability for the job. To establish her bona fides if you like.

I would like to ask her to name a great event which took place in a given year, say for argument’s sake 1975. I am sure Mary would make no mention of the release of Blood on the Tracks by Bob Dylan and refer instead to a landslide victory by Fianna Fail in a by election in Dublin South East.

I would also like to ask her to name a tragic event which took place in a given year, say for argument’s sake 1980. I am sure Mary would make no mention of the assassination of John Lennon and refer instead to a narrow defeat for Fianna Fail in a by election in Dublin South West.

If I pressed Mary for her opinion on the significance of the year 1977 would she cite the release of Never Mind the Bollocks by the Sex Pistols or the narrow margin by which a Fianna Fail government survived a no confidence motion in the Dail? How often would Celine Dion or Robbie Williams be mentioned if Mary were ever asked to appear on Desert Island Discs? I wonder if Mary could tell us the flagship production of the Sugan Theatre Company last year, or what play enjoyed an acclaimed two month run in the Dunamaise Arts Centre in Portlaoise over the winter?

Maybe I’m being a little too harsh on Hanafin, our Finance Minister for example knows very little about fiscal policy, or economics in general. Our Minister for Health looks as though she has hours to live. Our Minister for Education…well you get the point. Three Hail Marys there. That can’t be an accident from a Taoiseach who hasn’t a prayer of being re elected.

Qualities touted around the biosphere of Kildare Street keep that colony of conceit, spoof, stylised bullshite and unvouched expenses in its orbit and rarely have any meaning or import for the real people.

Mary knows this, she knows fuck all about the Arts, Culture or Tourism. Or anything else for that matter.

Going forward.