Sometimes It's Hard To Be A Man

So it’s a debate that surfaces from time to time, who has it easier men or women? Women of course have to periodically endure the undoubted inconvenience of childbirth but stop to take a look at the pressure men put themselves under just going about their everyday lives. They have to keep up with current affairs, big deal you might say so do women. But then take a look at all the extra curricular stuff men are obliged to take on. They have to know all about the latest Tamil Tigers offensive in Sri Lanka, keep abreast of the MP expense scandal in Westminster, keep an eye on Obama’s progress in Washington AND do the research necessary in order to arrive at a fairly good idea as to how many Group One winners Johnny Murtagh is going to ride this season. They have to know whether Wolves have a realistic chance of surviving in the top flight next year, they have to have considered, insightful opinions on the Cork hurling dispute, they need to be able to recognize whether or not Leinster are sufficiently competitive at the breakdown this season, and so on. As if that were not a demanding enough workload, they also have to keep themselves apprised of what far flung car manufacturers are doing. She comes home and says “Oh I think I saw Seamus in town” and you respond “It might have been him, what kind of car was he driving?” and she says “Oh I’m fairly sure it was green”. Men just can’t get away with such sloppiness. A man’s answer to that question would have to contain at a minimum details such as it was a 1999 Peugeot 306 Meridian five door 1.8 diesel. That kind of knowledge doesn’t come easily you know, concentration, graft and dedication are required to hone those skills. I could be mistaken but women appear to have rather shrewdly and deliberately limited their extra curricular specialist areas to shoes and handbags. That’s an extremely narrow field. At which subject do you think you would stand a better chance of success with on Mastermind - the history of shoes and handbags or the history of sport and the automobile. Exactly. Men have been their typical passive selves and not bagged something with a bit less homework. It's too late now, we can't co opt longer eye lash techniques or soap opera gossip for ourselves at this stage. They're spoken for. Do you know how long I had to spend reading the sports section last Sunday in order to ensure I don’t make a fool of myself in company next weekend. A long time let me assure you. There’s only so many faux pas you can make in the realm of footwear and shoulder accessories, you just know what you like. Sport is a different matter entirely. It’s very easy to make that fatal verbal slip and indefinitely alienate yourself from male peers by being inadequately equipped with knowledge of Wigan’s offside trap. Well I've had enough of the pressure, I think I need a gender reassignment.