You'll Never Walk (Alone) Again

An American boy wonder named Corey Carter from the Chicago Fire club signs for Blackburn Rovers in the English Premiership. In his first match he holds the opposition goalkeeper at gunpoint for a corner kick. He gets his red card rescinded because there is actually nothing specific in the rules to say that such behaviour is not allowed. It starts a worrying trend which culminates in Liverpool midfielder Steven Gerrard losing both his legs in a guerilla style grenade attack during a Carling Cup quarter final match against Sunderland. At this point UEFA President Michel Platini steps in and issues a directive limiting allowable on pitch weaponry to 9mm calibre handguns and 16 inch Samurai Swords. Sky introduce a new interactive channel and Robert Mugabe launches an audacious takeover bid for Manchester United. Football enters another global golden age. Millwall win the treble.