Nobody Knows Anything

These are uncertain times and we have a tendency to look to experts in certain fields for insight and analysis, to spot trends and make predictions. We want to know how bad things are going to get or when, in fact, things are going to improve. We want to equip ourselves with as much expert knowledge as possible in order to make informed choices regarding matters which affect our futures. This is all very sensible and commendable but where can we now go for reliable and credible information? We have seen over the last year a systematic discrediting of practically all the traditional sources of what we would have once considered sound or reliable analysis. We have arrived at a point where nobody knows anything.

These are dark days indeed for punditry of all types. Locally we have had the ESRI , every stockbrokerage firm in Dublin, the IAVI and ultimately the Department of Finance having to revise reports or forecasts as soon as they were broadcast because “ehh.. fundamentals have changed”. Internationally we have had venerable institutions like the OECD, the World Bank, IMF all do likewise because nobody had the faintest idea what was unravelling or how big the mess would be when it did. The tone of political or economic commentary that was available in our well respected newspapers and magazines mutated on a daily basis to keep pace with the slurry being unearthed in the real world. Forecasts relating to economic growth, inflation, interest rates, borrowing requirements, unemployment etc. were all turned out with smug nonchalance only to be “updated” the following day because 3rd quarter Bolivian GDP figures had not been as robust as expected. Ahem. Globalisation, you see.

So nobody knows anything. Nobody, that is, except David McWilliams. You see a couple of years ago Daithi produced a series for RTE wherein he outlined for us in gory detail what would happen to us all when (not if but when) the property genie got back into her bottle. We sat back and we had a good laugh at Daithi with his cumbersome demographic labels like “decklanders” and “the Jagger Generation”. We wondered what would drive a man, one of our own, to such depths of bitterness and begrudgery. What could make someone so cynical, we felt sorry for this little ginger creature in his everlasting navy suit whose only source of amusement was to try and rain on everyone’s parade. So we watched for a few minutes, chuckled, and turned over to The Naked Camera.

We thought the Celtic Tiger had put paid to the type of begrudgery that Daithi now seemed to be peddling. He had our sympathy because the rest of us had transcended all that ’oul nonsense. We dismissed him as a crank but at the same time we couldn’t shake the idea of Daithi and his dire prognostications. What if some naive types out there started to buy into what he was saying, what if doubt slowly started to creep in, what if the cracks started to appear? Well if they did we at least knew who to blame.

And so it came to pass, Daithi single handedly sent us plummeting into the mother of all recessions. And I would be hesitant to limit the extent of Daithi’s liability at Ireland’s threshold, I would be inclined to suggest that the entire global meltdown of which we are now in the throes can be laid squarely at Daithi’s Dalkey Doorstep. The anecdotal evidence would seem to suggest that the glut of overpriced semi d’s in Ashbourne was the final nail in the coffin for Lehman Brothers.

So Daithi knows what is happening right now, he knows a great deal about what has happened in the past and he can predict the future with frightening accuracy. Some would say he can even shape the future. In any other country a man of this proven stature would be revered as a kind of deity. He would be elevated to high office and at the very least would have a bank holiday named after him. Daithi Day. So what have we done in Ireland to avail of his talents, to exploit his talismanic qualities? Ehh... zilch is the answer to that. Absolutely nothing.

That’s not to say that Daithi is marginalised, that he doesn’t have a captive audience. He produces articles in a daily newspaper which tell the powers that be, in step by step fashion so as to be easily understood, what to do. If he is proposing a task force or a committee to deal with a particular issue he will even name them, the “untouchables” for instance. Daithi does all the legwork so the government doesn’t have to. Yet what evidence do we have that any of Daithi’s suggestions are being taken on board and implemented? None, because they are not. They are being ignored. The one man in the country who knows something is being ignored.

Could it be that there is something other worldly about the level of knowledge that Daithi possesses? Those who currently hold the reins are afraid that such genuine expertise could destabilise everything and bring the whole system as we know it tumbling down. In the presence of such cosmic brilliance the current equilibrium of mediocrity would surely be undermined and collapse. We all know what happened when Samson eventually made his way into the temple. The current mob know that if Daithi were to arrive, their days would be numbered. The public could no longer tolerate talentless charlatans when they have had a taste of someone who knows his stuff about stuff that relates to us and can articulate such stuff in a fashion that is quite comprehensible, pleasant and agreeable. Not at all stuffy.

So that’s why Daithi is not running the show. Daithi would recommend remedial action which would threaten the cosy network, and we can’t have that. Daithi is capable of coming up with ideas, good ideas, from his very own head. He is photogenic, articulate and charismatic and those are qualities we have no need of here. This, after all ,is not America.

Alas, for now Daithi is confined to his newspaper forum while the real power resides in the hands of those who have proven themselves to be incapable of using it for the good of anyone apart from themselves. His following will remain loyal and patient, the opportunity will eventually present itself, and when it does the suit will be navy and the shirt will be tieless.

Take me to your leader.