Emigration

All together now - emigration is bad, no good can ever come of emigration, everything about emigration is dreadful and detrimental. This is the narrative that our media have decided upon on our behalf. Any questioning of this definitive incontestable truth will be viewed in a very dim light.

It has been decided for us that we are not interested in hearing about the possible positive aspects of emigration. The enhancing of life experience, the broadening of cultural reference points, the opportunities to travel. It has been decided that our citizens would be diminished beyond repair by exposure to any cultural stimuli outside Celebrity Banisteoir, Operation Transformation or Don’t Tell the Bride.

You remember a few years ago when we were strutting around the place telling each other how much we loved tofu and Balinese hot stone therapy? Well all the positives from that era about having a global perspective have morphed into negatives. Now to express a fondness for anything beyond gazing into a slurry pit in Drumshanbo or watching Killinaskully on a loop is to commit high treason. Michael Noonan just found this out.

There was a picture of a woman on the paper yesterday with a mournful look holding aloft a photo of her son and daughter. At first glance I assumed it was some horrific fatal traffic accident but it turns out the kids have just moved to New York. You know the New York where we could all go for weekend frock buying trips there a few years ago. It’s an evil fuckin’ place altogether now evidently. It’s got nothing to offer, you’ll never be seen again and you’ll lose track of what’s happening on Fair City. Óchón, óchón.