The Conventional Wisdom or Phrases You Must Utter On a Regular Basis In Ireland 2011 To Be Considered a Serious Minded Individual

The banks are not lending, it’s as simple as that.

It’s worse than the eighties because everywhere is fecked; I mean where do you go?

The unemployment figures are only going down because of emigration.

We need to halve the number of TDs and double their salary to attract quality people.

I couldn’t live in Canada though; sure it never gets above freezing over there.

We need to eradicate this parish pump political system. I mean it shouldn’t be a TD’s responsibility to fix someone’s heating. That’s what local government is for.

But you can’t lay off any of the public service because it will decimate aggregate consumer demand. We need people with paycheques to spend in the real economy, no matter what it costs us.

I mean people just aren’t spending. There’s no confidence out there. Aggregate consumer demand is on the floor.

I know of a fella that went to Australia and had to come back after a month, he could find nothing.

I heard of a lad making twenty five grand a week driving a dumper in a mine in Perth.

One in two Australians get skin cancer, did you know that?

Vancouver is consistently voted into the top ten of best places in the world to live.

But you can’t lay off any of the public service without affecting the level of front line services.

I’m not talking about nurses, guards or firemen. I’m talking about the layers of clipes in public buildings all over the country who don’t even know what the feck it is they’re meant to be doing.

Whatever you do don’t bury your head in the sand, stay in touch with your lender.

Sure we lost the run of ourselves. It’s only natural; sure we’d never been through an economic cycle before like in America or England. I mean they’re old hands at this boom and bust carry on.

We learned a few harsh lessons though. We did surely.

Chalk it up to experience, we’ve a great little country and if we all pull together we’ll get through this.

We’ve pulled through dark days before, this won’t be any different.

It’s time to stop playing the blame game, to leave the doom and gloom behind us and look forward.

I mean someone will have to knock a few heads together over in Frankfurt and negotiate a better deal for us on that bailout.

Otherwise you needn’t bother ordering any bunting for your Easter Rising Centenary lads ‘cause there’ll be nothing only fuckin’ tumbleweeds on O’Connell Street that day.

And don't even think of trying to find God again. That horse has bolted.

Something tells me we're gonna start taking the Eurovision seriously again.